Rush of Insanity
by Moodyprince
Summary: After the big war, all the survivors are sent to a mental institution. If they pass the initial test, they can go home. But if not... DMHP HGPP RWLL GWNL
1. First Things

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Harry Potter or any other places or ideas from the mind of J. K. Rowling.**

Setting: Post war (Deathly Hallows Spoilers), Mental Institution

Summary: All those involved in the war are considered mentally unstable. They must pass a test to avoid being placed in a mental institution, but what happens if they don't pass...

A clean-shaven man with long dark hair and vivid black eyes stood up in his place at the circle.

"Hello group," he said, his large white teeth shining in his false smile, "I am Dr. Baldune and this is Dr. Ochere." he nodded towards a much older looking man standing behind him.

Dr. Ochere looked to be in his late fifties, but had a warm smile that denied his deep wrinkles.

"Dr. Ochere will be in charge of improving the mental instability of your young minds and will be reporting to me every evening." He took a pause and scans the room, searching every face with his plastered smile never faltering.

"We deem it best that you have your own wing to yourselves as you all are already acquainted, and this way, you may avoid our more dangerous guests. However," he continued, "It is necessary that we remove all weapons from our guests, so if you will, stand up one at a time and introduce yourselves before turning your wands over to Dr. Ochere."

At this a wave of complaints rolled around the circle of new patients.

"Now, now," Dr. Baldune reprimanded, "even war heroes must follow the rules and at this time you are all considered mentally unstable, therefore you must believe that it is a necessary-"

"Excuse me miss," interrupted Dr. Ochere with a kind expression on his face, "would you like to start?"

"My name is Luna Lovegood; I am here because I am able to believe in more than what I see. There is no other reason. They just call that crazy." Reluctantly she handed over her wand, and the next person stood up.

"I am Ronald Weasley and I suppose that I am here for depression or something. Anyways I failed the test so here I am." He refused to look at Dr. Ochere as he forced himself to hand over his wand.

Rolling her eyes, the next young lady stood up. "I'm Hermione Granger and I am here supposedly because of my obsessive nature." She walked over to where Dr. Ochere was standing and placed her wand squarely in the palm of his hand before turning abruptly on her heel and striding back to her seat.

Dr. Ochere moved behind the next person's chair as he stood up. "I am Neville Longbottom and I am here because I just love following in my parents' footsteps." The sarcasm did not go undetected, but neither the pained expression on his face. He gave his wand one last look of disgust and handed it over easily.

The next patient stood up, one hand on her hip, and loudly announced, "Pansy Perkinson, dumped here by my parents, in case you hadn't noticed, I wasn't even in the stupid war so I don't know how I ended up failing that stupid-ass test but I don't belong here. My parents just don't want to have to deal with me."

She casually placed her wand into Dr. Ochere's hand without another glance in its direction and blew a kiss to the next person before sitting back down.

Ignoring Pansy, the next patient stood up, a young man with a lightning scar on his forehead. "My name is Harry Potter and I don't see any reason to give up my wand to someone I don't even know. You could be runaway Death Eaters for all any of us know about you."

Both doctors proceeded to roll up their sleeves, revealing bare arms, no dark mark in sight.

"Mr. Potter", started Dr. Baldune, "with all due respect, you should really be more concerned with the status of the young man beside you. We are of little threat to your personal safety until you start refusing to follow our rules. That is when we hold you down and sedate you."

Harry didn't flinch as all this was being said, but finally sighed and passed his wand along, satisfied that no one was out to get him.

The last patient stood up, his head bowed and hands in his pockets. He spoke in an undeniably sad voice, the usual arrogance completely absent. "Draco Malfoy. I am here because the rich always get off easy. This is what I get for being on the wrong side of a meaningless war."

He sat back down but stood back up just as quickly. "And if anyone wants to know", he glanced quickly at Harry, "I am not, and never was, a Death Eater, though I must confess, I wanted to be one once." He flung his wand over to Dr. Ochere who just managed to catch it with the tips of his fingers.

Dr. Ochere scanned the circle, but seemingly unsatisfied, searched again, slightly more frantically.

"Sir, there should be eight wands in my hand, we are missing one."

As if on cue, in stumbled the last of the "war heroes", claiming a spot between Hermione and Neville. "I'm Ginny Weasley and I had to use the bathroom, but I didn't want to interrupt so I waited. I think my test results said that I am here because of some big word that begins with psycho. I'm psycho."

She fought off the urge to snatch her hand away as Dr. Ochere began to reach toward her wand.

Seeing that the meeting was coming to a close, Dr. Baldune excused himself and Dr. Ochere took his place. "Look, I don't really care for all this formality, so why don't you just call me Ben and we can all be on a first name basis."

Nobody responded.

"Well, I will take your silence as consent. Our Group meeting is over for today so if you would like, I can show you to your rooms, or we can stay and talk... about our... never mind." He gave up on his sentence as his words were drowned out by the sounds of eight teenagers rummaging through piles of luggage for their bags and throwing aside the useless parcels and suitcases of others.

In a few seconds, all were lined up at the door of the library, which had been chosen for the first meeting of the "Hogwarts War Victims".

Ben directed the group to the hallway on the east wing.

"You may all choose any room to your liking," he began," except for you Mr. Malfoy." He turned towards the young blonde. "Your bedroom is the last door at the end, complete with its own bathroom and a considerably large closet."

Draco, with the same sheepish look on his face, replied, "Just because I paid for a better room doesn't mean that I want special treatment". You can call me by my first name just like everybody else."

"Uh, right," responded Ben, surprised at the reprove. "Well in the next hallway over, there is a kitchen, a large dining room, and two other bathrooms." With a wink he added, "Just ask Ginny if you can't find them."

Ginny blushed and opened the door to the room directly beside her and peeked inside.

"If you find a room that you like, there is a key in the bedside dresser," Ben continued, "It's your own fault if somebody else takes your room because you left that key lying about, so be careful with it, we aren't allowed to replace it unless you have locked yourself out of your-"

"Excuse me," Hermione interrupted while cracking open the door to a room with teal-colored walls, "what is the purpose of the keys, we are all quite old enough to apparate."

"Well you will find that apparition is quite impossible within these walls and besides which, I haven't met many seventeen or eighteen-year-olds who were so skilled at wand-less magic."

"Oh sorry, I forgot I don't have one anymore, carry on."

Well if you have all found the room that makes you feel sane, I'll be off."

Nobody laughed at his attempt at humor, they all just settled into their new homes for the next six months.


	2. If My Truth Isn't Good Enough

**Disclaimer: I Do Not Own... blah blah blah J. K. Rowling blah**

**A/n:** Please Review... I know you're not supposed to ask for reviews but I am because I only got three and not being loved makes me uninspired. But thanks to lucky-ty-74, Unsimply-Maddie, and Snapeforever for your reviews and thanks to all those who added me to their favorites. I hope this next chapter is good enough.

**Chapter Two**

**If My Truth Isn't Good Enough**

When he showed up at the door to her room at six o' clock in the morning, Hermione didn't know what to think. At first she thought that there must be some emergency somewhere. Someone must be under attack. _So they were death eaters after all._ But she couldn't be farther off in her thinking.

"Hermione, I've just seen Fred floating on the roof'!" Ron exclaimed as Hermione gestured for him to enter.

"Ronald, Fred can't possibly be here, if he was, what would he be doing on the rooftop, and more importantly, are you aware that people do not float?"

He rolled his eyes, "Well I think he's waiting for us to get out of this place and then he might explain all that."

She was trying hard not to explain to him exactly why Fred couldn't be here, but she figured that maybe he was just having a difficult time letting go. Not everybody can get over the loss of a brother after only a month, he only needed time.

"There is only one way to pass the tests to get out of this place and that is through study," she said, matter-of-factly while waving a volume of _Mental Disorders for Dummies_. Ron raised an eyebrow.

"How do you study how not to be mental?"

"Well if you study the symptoms of whatever disorder you were diagnosed with, you can eliminate the causes in your own life. When I thought about it, it was so obvious."

"Hermione you can't fix everything with books. Anyway, I don't really feel like I could learn much from a book like that. I'm not a dummy, and I don't have any mental disorder, there's nothing wrong with me."

"Honestly Ronald, if every doctor says that you're delusional, and you've started seeing your dead brother, there can't be _nothing_ wrong with you."

"It's called misdiagnosis," he responded through gritted teeth, "and I can't really expect you to understand. You don't agree with anything that doesn't come straight from the mouth of some quack or the pages of some encyclopedia!

"Oh well that must be why you spend so much time with Loony Lovegood," she spat back, "I'll bet she understands you, does she think that Fred is floating on the rooftop too? Last time I checked she also believed there were things like Cracklebeets and Huffasneeps floating around up there with him."

"Dammit Hermione!" He turned and slammed his hands against the wall. "Forget it; you don't have to believe me. I am through with trying to convince you!"

"Then what are you doing in _my _room this early in the morning?" she retorted, "Because if you came knocking at my door asking me to believe that Fred has somehow come back to life then you came to the wrong place! Luna's room is across the hall!"

Ron stopped abruptly and spoke in a calm voice. "Hermione I came to you expecting you to talk to me, to tell me that you believe me no matter what, especially since I've never lied to you before. Guess what? I'm not the type to lower my expectations for someone who is so insecure that she wants to push away the only person who ever loved her as much as I do."

"Ron what are you saying?"She asked, voice wavering slightly.

"I'm saying that I can't be in this relationship anymore. I can't be accused of cheating on you every day when you know I can't keep a secret. And I'm through with trying to prove myself to you when you know I'm not even a good enough liar to fool you."

"Ron how can I defend myself for not believing you when you say something so ludicrous?

"You can't. No matter how many trips you take to the library, no matter what you try to do to find a way, you can't defend yourself against the truth.'

He started towards the door and stopped short, turning around to look back at Hermione. "Maybe I will go over to Luna's room, but not for the reason you keep insinuating. At least she will trust me if I say I just saw Fred. Maybe it's because she cares about the feelings of others though you act like she has none." With that he turned and stalked out, slamming the door behind him.

Hermione was stunned. She slumped down onto her bed and tried to analyze the conversation. Every sentence he uttered, excluding the bit about Fred, made perfect sense. So maybe she was the one with a problem. Maybe she actually deserved to be in this institution, she had to be crazy to let Ron leave so angry like that. Her diagnosis was true, she was obsessive, she was over-analytical, she was completely mental and she had lost the only person who would have held her and told her that it wasn't true.

She slid back underneath the blanket and curled up into a ball and began to cry.


	3. The Bathroom

**Disclaimer: I don't own it, I only improve it (or that's what I tell myself)**

**Chapter three**

**The Bathroom**

Hermione picked herself up off the bed. She had been moping all morning and not only was that unhealthy, but it was unnaturally sweaty business. Crying about Ron wasn't going to make him take her back, and she needed to concentrate on getting out of hell.

She stumbled over to the next hallway to the bathroom.

She gasped as she entered the room and realized how closely it resembled the prefect bathroom at Hogwarts, though she never expected such a high ceiling. She wanted to hop into the bathtub straight away, but… was that's Myrtle's voice she heard? How could she be here?

She stepped the rest of the way into the bathroom, pausing to lock the door as to not be disturbed. At the soft click of the lock, the faux Moaning Myrtle piped up.

"Why are you here Granger?"

"Parkinson? Well I only came here to – was that you crying?"

"Why should you care?" Pansy retorted, "It's not in your nature to comprehend the problems of purebloods like myself."

"It's in my _nature_ to comprehend problems in general," she replied, an edge to her voice, "It's also in my nature to need a bath every once in a while so if you don't mind…" Hermione finally realized from where Pansy's voice was coming, she was sitting on the ledge of the open window, reaching almost to the top of the high ceiling which was overlooking the back woods.

"Oh no Pansy, don't jump!" Hermione squealed.

"I have no intention of jumping you idiot, but since you are intent on staying, you may join me if you wish."

Despite not wanting anything to do with Pansy, Hermione couldn't resist her curiosity. She used crevices in the tile wall to help her climb up onto the windowsill, hoping to discover what could possibly have caused this hardened bitch to cry.

"I heard you and Weasley yelling at each other earlier," Pansy started, "did you have a row or was it just really violent sex?"

Ignoring the implications, Hermione responded, "We broke up, not that it's any of your concern."

"So no violent sex? Oh well, you don't know what you're missing."

Hermione blushed, picturing Ron trying to be violent with her; he was always so gentle, almost as if he was afraid that he would break her, yet so passionate, touching her as though he would never see her again.

"If you're not going to tell me what your problem is, then I guess there's no reason for me to be up here," Hermione finally said, returning from her own little world of thoughts.

"Well I've got way too many problems to even begin to explain, but the issue of the moment is my not being able to go home. Probably ever." Hermione took a breath as if to speak, but Pansy continued.

""I will never pass the tests to get out of here and my parents know it, because they're the ones who messed me up." A tear slid down her cheek. "They don't love me, they never have; the most emotion they ever showed me was complete contempt on the day that I told them I didn't want to be a Death Eater. They stuck me in this place to rot, and even if I managed to pull myself together, they would just put me in another, tougher institution. I'd really rather not try." Pansy swallowed hard, trying not to start bawling.

Hermione contemplated for a moment before deciding that Pansy was being real. What reason did she have to lie? "Come here," Hermione said. It was obvious that she needed a shoulder to cry on, it might as well be hers. She opened her arms.

Pansy looked confused at first but her features softened into a look of gratitude right before she lunged at Hermione's shoulder, face first.

"I don't know what I'm gonna do," Pansy's words were slightly muffled through the fabric of Hermione's sweatshirt, "I might never get out of here; my family would pay any amount of money to keep me out of their hair. My sanity will be completely gone by the time I finally die and get out of here."

"Don't worry, we'll figure something out," Hermione said, her voice full of tenderness, "you'll probably get out at the same time as the rest of us."

"Thanks Hermione, even if you're wrong it's still nice to have someone be nice to me without wanting something in return."

Hermione smiled. "So its Hermione now is it? Not Mud blood or Granger?"

"Well I thought it was only right" Pansy replied, lifting her head from the other girl's shoulder, "After all, you called me by my first name, and tried to save my life, in the same sentence. My life may not have been in danger, but you thought it was." Hermione blushed, realizing that she had addressed the other girl as Pansy when she thought she was about to jump to her death. Pansy grinned.

"So you don't hate me?" Hermione asked.

"No, not really, but don't get me wrong," Pansy responded, gradually returning to her condescending tone, "we're not best friends just because you caught me at a weak moment."

"I didn't expect so," said Hermione defensively, "Ginny is my best friend."

Pansy laughed out loud. "You sound like a child, but I'll overlook it. Would you like to walk me to my room?"

Stung, Hermione replied "Actually, I came for a shower so if you…" her voice trailed off as she stared, awestruck, out the window. "Merlin, it's beautiful."

Surprised, Pansy turned her head in the direction Hermione was looking, to see a large, silver-white wolf, walking out of the woods.

"Whoa," Pansy uttered. The wolf commanded attention. It took a moment to stare back up at the girls with its vibrant eyes, the color of emeralds, flecked with silver. The majestic animal turned abruptly and stalked back into the woods.

You know what Pansy," her attention returned to the other girl, "I think I will walk you to your room."

"Why the sudden change of mind?" Pansy asked.

"I just decided that it's time for you to return the favor and listen to me whine about my problems."

"Oh alright," Pansy rolled her eyes, "just give me a chance to change my clothes." For the first time, Hermione realized that Pansy was only wearing a towel. "Actually, you can meet me in my room _after _your shower."

They both smiled as Hermione unlocked the door and let Pansy leave. Then she relocked the door and finally took her well deserved bath.

----------

Reviewers... I love you

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Snapeforever: Here's that next chapter for ya


	4. My Freddie?

Sorry I took so long to update folks, I had writer's block. Also, I know that the characters don't usually wear muggle clothes, but I can't picture them in anything else but their school robes and I'm not about to reread the books to find out what they wear on vacation so muggle clothes it is. I figure it's pretty appropriate considering they might as well be muggles for the next few weeks.

**Disclaimer: Blah blah blah I don't get to say that I own J.K. Rowling's characters.**

Meanwhile…

"And then she didn't believe me! I mean really, why would I lie?" Ron raged while pacing Luna's bedroom.

"Well maybe she is just scared," Luna yelled, muffled from inside her closet, "you know it's hard for her to believe anything that she doesn't see for herself."

"Don't you go defending her Luna, she even accused me of seeing you behind her back! As if I could even do something like that to anyone."

"Maybe she thought the gofflebombs were making you act differently."

Ron stopped his pacing, "The what?"

"The gofflebombs," she stepped out of her closet wearing dark jeans and a black form-fitting tank top, "you know, they hide in your hair and control your brain if you don't wash regularly." She hesitated for a moment to inspect Ron's orange mop. "But your hair is perfectly clean."

"erm… thanks."

"well I can't explain her actions, and I won't say they were right , but are you sure that you don't want to be with her anymore?"

"Positive. We fell out of love a long time ago, or at least I did."

"Alright then, let's go to dinner, Harry and Ginny said they were going to cook so I'm eager to find out if Harry has learned anything from being at the Burrow so often.

"It's great that they can still be friends after _their _breakup. I hope that Hermione and I can learn from them."

They walked down to the dining room and helped Harry and Ginny carry the food from the kitchen across the hall.

The rectangular table had no head and no foot, and Neville was already seated at one end, so Ron sat down across from him with Luna on his left. Harry sat down next to Luna as Hermione and Pansy entered laughing. Hermione scanned the table and decided to sit down across from Harry, Pansy on her right, an empty seat on her left.. Draco came in from the kitchen and sat down on the other side of Pansy, leaving two empty seats next to Harry, and one empty seat for Ginny between Neville and Hermione.

It took a moment for all to realize that the food wasn't goin to serve itself. They began to fill their own plates wih mashed potatoes and gravy and several other muggle foods that were easily made without wands.

"So what were you doing in the kitchen anyways?" Pansy asked Draco, trying to make conversation.

"How do you know I wasn't helping to make the dinner?"

"If you were, you probably would have poisoned us all," Harry said, wanting to catch Draco in a lie.

"As it so happens, Potter, if I were trying to kill you all I wait for a situation with no proof against me. Anyways, Parkinson, I was checking for an extra pair of salt and pepper shakers, as this food made by embeciles promises to be tasteless."

Many minutes of silence followed, during which Harry noted that Draco did not once add any extra seasoning to his food, but cleaned his plate.

"Please pass the butter," Hermione asked, her eyes never leaving her own plate. Ron slid the butter dish across the table diagonally towards where she was sitting. "Thank you."

Ron nodded his head and returned to his food.

"Merlin, it's quiet in here!" Pansy sighed.

"Thank you Pansy, for that quaint little way you state the obvious," Draco responded. Pansy looked down at her peas with an unreadable expression.

Dinner ended silently and as all the others filed out,Ron pulled Luna to the side saying, "We have to go outside."

"we can go outside tomorrow at freetime."

"But we need to go out right now," Ron pleaded, "Please."

Luna sighed in her airy way and rushed off after him. They found that the door leading to the back was unlocked, probably for access to the dumpsters that were located less than two yards from the door, upwind.

"I know I saw him this time Luna, I'm not crazy."

"I know that you saw him Ron, but maybe you're the only one who can," Luna reasoned.

"Well that's why I need you isn't it? I'd like to find out if it's all in my imagination or if you can see him too."

You really don't need me, Ron, and even if he exists solely in your mind, it doesn't mean he's not real."

"But I do need you Luna, You're the only one who gets me. And I know that you know that it does make a difference whether or not you can see him too. I want him to be real to everyone. I want them to know that he's not dead!"

"But I am dead Ron," Ron whipped around at the sound of Fred's voice.

"Fred… I… I told them you were – " he cut himself off, Ron couldn't remember Fred ever being that much taller than him. "Look, your feet don't touch the ground! Your floating, I told her you were floating!"

The smile that had been on Luna's face since the "I need you" comment disappeared at the mention of "her".

"oh you do see him, don't you Luna?"

"Well I see him, but…" Ron looked at her expectantly while Fred looked down sadly, "I also see through him... he's a ghost."


	5. Ten Days Left

A/N: Okfolks i'm feelina bit discouraged. I have no urge to write more cuz i'mnot gettinany reviews. So unless I get a few more I have to end this fichere, there's no point in writing if nobody likes it enough to review. But i have such plans for this story so please, somebody, tell me that it's not a hopeless cause.

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. BBlehh.**

"Well I see him but..." Luna looked sdly at Ron, "I also see through him. He's a ghost."

"I don't care, at least he's here, he's back!" Ron turned back to Fred, "But why are you always outside?"

"I know you are accustomed to seeing me break rules, like back at Hogwarts, but breaking and entering is where I draw the line."

"_I didn't think there was a line." _Ron muttered under his breath. "Anyways I'm inviting you in now, so why don't you say hello to everybody?"

"I can't do that Ron."

Ron's faced dropped as he begun towhineuncharacteristically, "Why not?"

"Because I have to move on. I don't belong in this world anymore."

Ronald's face practically crumpled as he realized exactly what this meant. He would be losing his brother twice. "Why did you even come back?" he asked.

"I have ten days to sort out some unfinished business here on earth before I go."

"Just ten days?"

"It would be longer if my "oh so smart" brother wouldn't have taken so long to realize that I was trapped outside."

"You know," Luna chirped in, "sometimes sarcasm stings."

But Ron hadn't even realized that he had been insulted, he was still stuck on, "Just ten days?"

"So why can't you tell anyone?"

"I can't just leave and come back like that... think of how mum would feel having to lose me again, and think of Ginny, she doesn't even approve of ghosts. She thinks that people should "live without regrets" and never come back. She has no idea how hard it is to actually live by that philosophy. I feel terrible even putting you in this position, Ron, but I know you can handle it better than any of the others."

"So what is it you've left undone?" Luna asked.

"Well... I can't say exactly... that is... I can't tell. You aren't allowed to know... but if you figure it out... that's up to you."

"But it concerns us?" Luna looked puzzled.

"Sort of," he responded, "not just you though."

"I don't know if I want to hear any more," Ron sighed, "I just know that you're here and that's gunna have to be good enough for me."

Luna, realizing that someone was bound to spot them if they didn't get to their rooms soon, started to herd the boys toward the door, which proved quite impossible as Ron was being difficult and Fred couldn't be pushed... or touched.

As they neared the door they all halted in awe. A large white wolf was coming out of the woods. Upon seeing the three standing so still by the door, it begun to study them carefully with its vibrant silvery emerald eyes. Satisfied in having scrutinized and awed the three suficiently, it stalked slowly back into the forest without looking back.

Luna was the first to snap back into reality and quickly rushed the other two inside to avoid any possible wolf attacks, as there might be any number of wolves back there.


	6. Issues of a dangerous kind

**Hallo! I ish back with another Chapterr! R&R my friends!**

**By the way guys, thisis pretty much an angsty chapter, so be prepared/**

**Disclaimer: No I don't own the Harry Potter characters, only the doctors... ew, who likes doctors? Not meh!**

Draco had been keeping pretty much to himself ever since he arrived at the mental institution. He was currently brooding in his bedroom and toying with a knife he had stolen from the kitchens at their first meal. From his position leaning against the door, he could hear the giggling of Granger and Parkinson from Pansy's room across the hall, as well as the snoring of Lovegood and Weasley in Luna's room right next to his.

"Ah!" Draco announced suddenly as the point of the knife pricked his finger. He had been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice as it sliced a straight cut through the top part of his thumb.

He had been thinking about his friends Crabbe and Goyle, on the night of the war; how one was in St. Mungo's with severe burns, and the other was gone forever. In fact, the only reason Draco had even survived that night was because Harry had rescued him not one, but two times, without even hesitating.

Draco was ashamed; he had shown weakness in allowing Harry Potter to rescue him, and in showing any kind of remorse or feeling toward his imbecile friend.

As the blood trickled down his hand, a wave of emotion washed over him as he realized exactly what kind of person he was. He was the kind of coward who begged for help in the face of danger, and had not even the decency to apologize to or thank his rescuer. He was a completely different kind of person then Harry Potter. Harry was a hero. He never had the need to beg anybody else for help, because he was friendly enough that most people would help him without being asked. And Harry had risked his life for him.

This time, as the knife sliced through skin, Draco did not emit a sound. He relished in the relief of causing himself a little bit of the pain that he had inflicted upon others in the past. Where had any of it gotten him? Hating Harry hadn't done him any good as now Harry mistrusted him and wanted naught to do with him. Hating "mudbloods" had proved foolish as it had only put him on the losing side of a foolish war. Hating anyone else he had ever hated never had positive results for him, and the one person who he had been completely loyal to, ended up dead.

Draco snapped out of his daze as the blood began to drip onto the carpet. He arose to go take a shower and sleep as he would have to work in the kitchen for breakfast in only four hours.

--

Ginny had attempted to follow her brother Fred in two different ways already, but neither of them had worked for her.

By putting up a cheerful facade, nobody had expected her to pursue suicide, and nobody had been there to stop her, except for once.

Ginny's first suicide attempt had been to poison her own food when she was cooking with Harry. However the chances were too high that her poisoned food would be given to someone else, and she did not want to be responsible for anybody else's death.

Her second venture had been to jump out of a window, but the problem was that she took to long to climb up onto the window sill. When she finally climbed up to a standing position, the first of her fellow patients joined her in the library and whisked her down off of the sill in one swift motion.

"Why!" Ginny shouted. "Why can't you just leave me alone? I want my brother, I want my brother!" She then continued to ramble incoherently through her tears as her rescuer wrapped his arms around her and held her until she stopped crying. That night, the third night in the mental institution, Neville came and knocked on her door.

When she opened it, he rushed in with a pillow and a blanket and laid down in a corner. Ginny started to protest, but Neville would hear none of it.

"Look Gin, I don't know why you tried to take your own life today, and I don't intend to ask, but until I find out, I don't intend to leave you alone for one moment, now go to sleep because i'm not budging."

--


	7. Pristine

A/N: I love you guys sooooo much! I really didn't get the hundreds of reviews that I would have loved to get, but I can't expect all of that from my first story. However... the few reviews that I have received since my last update have made me so happy! I could sing... but I wont. So a special thanks to **truth-hater, tinglingsensation, FuyuMitsukai, lil-bugga, and darkshadowgirl666! **Muah! I love you strangers!!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, I just own the right to loooove it.

Harry had been on his own for the past few days. It was now the fourth morning inside of a virtual cage. This morning, Harry would volunteer to help cook breakfast again, it was to be his only social period of the day.

Upon approaching the kitchen, Harry was surprised to note that Draco Malfoy of all people would be already set flipping eggs. It was too late for him to back out without attracting the attention of Dr. Ben, who was set up in the corner with a clipboard, taking notes on the patients' social interactions. Harry had no intention of letting anyone inside of his head, so he tried his best to insure that he would not be the subject of Ben's notes.

He finished his entrance into the kitchen and busied himself with whipping up twenty-four pancakes, a feat he found impossible as Draco had just used up the last of the eggs. Forgetting his wandless situation, Harry tried to accio up four more eggs. Draco snickered as he realized what Harry was trying to do.

"What's funny Malfoy?" Harry snapped, stung by his own failure.

Draco quickly tried to hide his smile as he remembered that he was supposed to be befriending Harry. "I was only laughing at myself for making too many eggs for eight people to possibly eat.

This comment was meant to calm Harry, but only made him angrier, thinking that Draco had purposely made his job harder. "Well what am I supposed to do now Malfoy! Who just eats eggs for breakfast?!"

Draco couldn't help but to laugh outright at this. "Calm down, Harry, I wasn't trying to use all the eggs."

Harry huffed as he realized his childishness and proceeded to sit in the corner and pout until Draco finished breakfast.

Draco, disappointed at his obvious failure to befriend Harry, groaned inwardly and chopped onions to put inside the omelettes as Dr. Ben began to scribble furiously on his clipboard.

As breakfast began, Harry continued to sulk, though somewhat calmed down. Draco served the rest of the food that he had to make single-handedly: eggs, bacon, sausages, oatmeal, and a fruit bowl. He carefully avoided Harry's eyes as he didn't wish to anger him anymore by seeming cocky.

Harry refused to eat, so when breakfast ended he was still hungry.

After his disruptive stomach rumblings caused Ron and Hermione to send him away during the first free time, Harry snuck back into the kitchen to find himself a snack.

Within the refrigerator, on a plate wrapped in tin foil, Harry found a more than decent sized portion of fruits and eggs, and delicious goodies that weren't even served for breakfast such as the large blueberry muffin. He supposed at first that it was intended for one of the doctors, but upon closer inspection, Harry found his own name printed neatly in Draco's handwriting on the foil.

Harry groaned inwardly as he recalled his earlier treatment toward a certain blonde, and made up his mind to swallow his pride and apologize, especially since he had gotten hostile over a simple four eggs. However, he could not find that he was sorry enough to leave the plate alone, so full-bellied and head down, he strolled down the hallway to Draco's room.

He knocked on the door, but heard nothing but loud music in reply. Thinking that Draco must have been in the bathroom or something of the sort, Harry thought it might be better to wait inside the room. He found the door was unlocked, but he opened the door to a surprising sight and barely had time to gasp before it was slammed back in his face.

--

Draco huffed as he leaned against the the inside of his door, sliding down to sit on the floor, ignoring Harry's yells from the other side. Next time he would remember to use the lock. After Harry's howling died down, Draco stood up to clean the four drops of blood that spilled onto the pristine white carpet in his rush to remove Harry.

_Harry,_ Draco thought, _the boy who lived, now the man who lived._ Draco wondered if any of his blood had gotten on Harry's clothes. If Harry felt sorry for him in his pitiful state. If Harry was mad about Draco's cutting himself, or just about his using the kitchen knife to do it.

Draco now had two straight lines from his elbow to mid-forearm in addition to the one across his thumb. He fell into a daze while staring at the blood. Something about it was so mesmerizing. He watched it roll down his arm and drip onto his own sock.

It would not do to leave evidence in his room for the doctors to find, so finally Draco made movements to obtain a bottle of bleach with which to clean up his mess, while carefully avoiding Harry until he could figure out the right lie to tell him.


	8. Teardrops

Harry found himself thinking about Draco that night as he fell asleep; the tears that he had caught a glance of, streaking down Draco's face.

_Why?_ Harry wondered, _What does he have to cry about in life? He's alive, thanks to me and my friends, he has all the money in the world, and he even has a girlfriend. How dare he be unhappy when some people here have lost everything?_ Then he remembered the knife in Draco's hand. The look of sheer pain, and of fear, on his face when he had opened the door.

_Fear? _He thought_, How can any Malfoy show that kind of expression on his face? He's a criminal and a jerk and he didn't even have the decency to thank us for saving his worthless life... because if he had... if he had taken one second of his time to apologize for his ignorance or at least to say thank you_... his thought trailed off into nothing as he refused to finish it.

_No, he would have to have a heart to admit that he had ever been wrong or needed the help of anyone lower than himself in the caste system, the one that only Malfoys and other such pureblooded pricks adhere to. If he doesn't need my help, then he doesn't need my pity either. I refuse to feel sorry for him._

At this Harry ended his internal tirade and turned over to fall into his usual fitful sleep.

--

Neville was in the library falling in love. Morning had come again and he was sitting in a large cushioned chair, thinking of a certain redhead, and all the reasons why he shouldn't get too close to her.

His first reason was that which was obvious to all. She was graceful and energetic, she had been the girlfriend of the one-and-only "boy who lived". He was nothing but a clutz and a fool, a toy to examine at the store but never to take home. He was damaged goods.

Neville's childhood had not been a pretty one: He'd lived with his strict Grandmother for as long as he could remember, visiting his parents at St. Mungo's every Holiday. With his parents having been tortured to insanity, he'd had no motherly tenderness in his life or fatherly bonding. All that he knew of love was that which came in the form of discipline and more discipline.

But he had been alright. He had thought he was going to make it as a near-normal wizard in life.

The turning point that changed all of that had been the war. The long and gruesome war in which he'd had to see too many of his friends die. Too many of his enemies. And there was blood on his hands as well. Neville was tainted, he had killed a man.

--Flashback--

There was commotion everywhere.

Flashing lights shot out of wands all around him and the sound was unbearable: A mix of shouts and explosions of the living with the screams of the dying. It was hard to believe that this battleground had once been a place where he felt safe. The stench of blood and vomit was heavy in the air and it was all he could do to avoid suffocation. His head was light and the room spun, but on he stumbled, dodging hexes and curses, the unforgivables.

It happened in a flash, he hadn't time to think. He was facing a death-eater with a smirk that easily said that he had no qualms about erasing the life of yet another mother's child. Neville raised his wand arm, knowing that he would be dead before _expelliarmus_ could have possibly left his lips. Instead, he uttered something else... the killing curse.

He watched silently as his opponent crumpled to the ground, never to murder again.

--End Flashback--

He should have been happy. He should have felt like a hero. Instead he felt like the last part of him that was human had died. He was no longer worthy of the normal life he had often pictured in his dreams. He most definately did not deserve the attention he so desperately craved from Ginny.

What he did deserve, in his own mind, was exactly was he was getting. To be locked up as a lunatic, just like his parents. To feel in a state of torture every day of his life, just like them. The only problem was that this place was too good for him. Unlike his parents, he had friends here, he had people who cared for him, and also unlike his parents, he could still think for himself. But they were being punished for showing true heroism, whereas he was almost being rewarded, for being a coward. For taking a life.

He would rather be dead, but death was too good for him.

Neville strolled over to the window. The window. Where Ginny had tried to take her own life just the evening before. Neville knew that losing a family memeber could be difficult, especially one so close to the heart. He knew that the lump rising up in his throat was only a pinch of the pain that Ginny herself must be feeling.

As he gazed out of that window, determined to think of ways to guard this precious ruby, he caught a glimpse of something moving just beyond the nearest trees. A Large dog perhaps, or a wolf, had been staring at him. Neville had never had poor eyesight, but the precise color of this animal escaped him, perhaps silver, or white, maybe grey, or was that the shadow of a tree?

Just as fast as it had seemed to appear, it was gone, but one part of it remained burned into Neville's brain. Those eyes. Those bright, nearly glowing, metallic green eyes had looked directly into Neville's own, and suddenly he knew that he could spend no more time sulking in the library or dwelling in the past. He needed to focus completely on the task at hand. He needed to protect Ginny from herself.


	9. Important Notice

Alrighty then... to all of you who have been waiting and waiting... here's the deal, yo: I Really want to continue writing this fic, because I REALLY LOVE IT, but the problem is that it's been so long since I last posted anything, and I have changed as a person and a writer. I really would like to give it another go, but I would just like to forewarn you all that I am no longer the immature high school student I was when I begun this journey. I am now an immature college student, and my writing style may differ slightly from this point on, but maybe not too much. I will do my best. I haven't started writing any new chapters yet, but I plan to this weekend, so I should have something for you by next weekend. But please... bear with me even if I don't... it's been a while.


	10. Flashback

For you, my readers, here is a very very very long awaited chapter. Please don't be mad at me, I finally just decided I'm gonna finish what I started, so I'm gonna try to keep going with this. Bear with me, I don't have a beta or anything.

**Discalimer: I do not own anything related to the Harry Potter series, I'm just borrowing it.**

Pansy was lying on her bed in silence, which was the worst thing she could be doing. In the silence she could only hear her own mind's ramblings, as if she wasn't mad enough to begin with. If she'd had her wand she could have music playing, blocking out her emotions; and if she had been born to another family, the idea of using the muggle device on her bedside table would have been acceptable. But in this life, in this body, in this room, she was entirely trapped inside her own head, and she couldn't handle it.

Her mother, Helena Pickle was a woman of few words. She had been hardened by growing up an orphan; she knew the cold reality of the world: that only the strong survive. It was for this reason that she had looked up to the dark lord. He offered her hope, and more importantly, he offered her power. After years of being at the mercy of cruel caretakers who had no mind to whether or not the children got enough to eat, power was very important to her.

She was sent to Hogwarts when she was eleven and this is where she first heard the name Tom Riddle. He had already garnered quite a following when she got there. He was no longer in school, however his fame was growing and she quickly realized that he could be her only path to the power she was seeking. Hadn't he grown up in just her same situation? Didn't he graduate top of his class and move on to even greater levels of academic prowess. Not only was he brilliant, but he was rapidly becoming the strongest wizard of the age, and she wanted to be on his good side when he ascended to that level.

So Helena worked hard in school. She made top marks in all of her subjects, but did especially well in her mastery of the Dark Arts. Afterwards, she made a bold move; she sought out Tom Riddle, now calling himself Lord Voldemort. She was not turned away. However, never having been approached in such a manner, Voldemort couldn't find any reason to trust her, so he gave her an ultimatum: she could accept the dark mark, marry the pureblood wizard of his choosing, and then devote their children's lives to him as well, or she could suffer a most painful death. She gladly chose the dark mark, as it was the first choice she'd ever been allowed to make for herself in her whole life.

The man that was chosen for her was named Nicolai Parkinson. He was not a kind man, or gentle by any means. But he provided her with a large comfortable home, house elves at her disposal to use for any fleeting whim she might have, and sparse beatings, only when the Dark Lord wanted to be certain that he could maintain a firm grip on his household. Nicolai gave Helena everything she could have dared to hope for, so in return, she gave him three sons… and a daughter.

The three oldest came one right after the other, Maxwell, Alexander, and Damien, all strong, healthy, and willing to do the master's bidding. Only Pansy came unexpectedly, and only Pansy failed time and time again to live up to the Parkinson standard.

First of all, according to Damien, a seventh year at the time, the Sorting had taken nearly a full minute to decide which house to put Pansy in, and only chose Slytherin because she begged it to. Furthermore, she was only making average grades, and getting involved with the feuds of other students rather than maintaining her focus. The reports he made back to their parents caused her to suffer during every school break when she was sent home.

Their home in many ways was just like Hogwarts. It was large, boasting with three flights of stairs. It was always filled with people, between the Parkinsons, the house elves, and the occasional death eater in hiding. And it was full of secrets and hidden chambers. One of these such chambers contained a massive library, because, as Helena would say, one's studies cannot be limited to what could be learned at school alone. During the summer after her first year, Pansy was confined here for 8 weeks without any company besides the house elf who was instructed to bring her only one meal daily with water, and not speak to her. Everyone else who used the library was bewitched so that they could not be seen or heard by Pansy. In this way, Helena and Nicolai could keep an eye on her and ensure that she was getting the education they paid for. And if she wasn't using all this time in confinement to learn all she could… well Pansy knew better than to try and find out what would happen.

The next few years at Hogwarts went a little bit better for Pansy because none of her brothers were left to rat her out for having friends or getting detention, and Pansy ensured that she made the highest possible grades in every class. But in every subject there was always one girl who made impossibly high grades, and trumped her in all subjects but one: Divination. That girl was Hermione Granger. And year after year, this girl was the cause for many floggings and sometimes more severe punishments.

"How could you let a mudblood surpass you! No child of mine would ever bring such shame to this family!"

And so the Parkinsons began to treat Pansy as a common maid. She was still of pure blood, and so still worth enough to them to continue to sponsor her education, but as long as she continued to come in second to Hermione, she was no longer to be cared for like family.

Pansy had all the reason in the world to hate Hermione. And she didn't let any opportunity to humiliate her go by. However, her heart wasn't in it. In everything she did to appease her family and hurt Hermione, Pansy still felt that she was on the wrong side, she would never be one of them; she could never learn to enjoy brutality like them.

She finally admitted to herself that she would never be good enough in the summer after sixth year. Her parents took her to a meeting that was meant to be the most important of her life. They told her beforehand that if she did well, she was their daughter again, and she allowed herself to hope that she could finally win their love. But when she came face to face with the dark lord she knew this was not the path for her.

He asked her if she would take the dark mark, if she would risk her life for his cause… if she would kill for him. She gave him all the answers he wanted to hear. She stood there under his scrutiny and forced herself not to flinch away from his foul breath as spoke close to her face. She stared into his beady dark eyes and found nothing within them. He was a soulless individual, and she would be too if she followed his command.

That night her parents welcomed her back home with a great hurrah. She was their prodigal daughter finally returning to their arms, and she basked in the warmth she had so deeply desired from them for so long. And then she was gone.

She didn't bother to leave a note, they would know what had happened. She simply packed a bag of clothing, took some of the jewelry –only that which had been given to her –and she pawned it for money to stay at the Leaky Cauldron. She didn't bother to hide. She figured that they wouldn't bother to come after her, since she didn't have any information on them that might be used as blackmail. But if they did come after her, so be it. She wasn't going to kill for them, and certainly not for _him_.

When she began to run out of supplies, she got a job sweeping up at Olivander's. When her Hogwarts letter came she couldn't believe her luck, that she was being offered a scholarship so that she could afford to buy her books and come back to school. But it seemed like the moment things started looking up for her, they just went right back down. Soon the school was shut down and all the students sent home. Except Pansy had no home to go to.

She made the mistake of trying to go back to her parents, and she found that although Voldemort didn't have the time or patience to go hunting down one insignificant speck of insolence, he did have the fury to get his revenge one way or another. That way turned out to be by killing her oldest brother, Maxwell. Her mother met her at the door and instantly had a wand aimed at her head.

"Crucio!" she shouted, without waiting for an explanation, and Pansy crumpled to the ground right outside of the doorway. "how dare you show your face back here?"

"P-please. Mom!" Pansy tried to cough out a response.

"Crucio!" Helena cried once again and Pansy began rithing on the ground. "You will NOT set foot back in this house."

Unable to speak or even see clearly, Pansy just wheezed and reached a pitiful, limp hand out to grasp her mother's ankle.

"Don't you touch me!" Helena screamed and began kicking Pansy repeatedly in the ribs, "You don't know what I've been through! Nicolai blames me for your abandonment, he blames me for Maxwell's death, he blames me for everything, and it's all YOUR FAULT! Crucio, crucio CRUCIO!" The last three words were each punctuated by a flick of the wrist and Pansy screamed out in pain.

Helena took a moment to catch her breath and then spoke again, "I loved you. You were my little girl and I saved you from so much punishment." She paused and looked down at the sweaty lump of Pansy on the ground with disdain, "be glad Nicolai isn't home. He would have killed you".

Helena stalked back toward the door and slammed it behind her.

**End Flashback**

Just when Pansy thought she might do anything at all to end the surge of emotion violently clawing at her mind, there was a tapping at her door. Endlessly thankful for the distraction, whether positive or no, Pansy sprang off her bed. Then, remembering herself, she reset the scowl on her face before opening the door.

Hermione stood in the doorway, trying to look bored so Pansy wouldn't realize how much she enjoyed spending time with her.

"Are you ready for kitchen duty?"


End file.
